Here in Togo, the healthcare war we were waiting for has not yet come to pass. The country has encouraged certain measures to be put into place to keep the virus at bay, and perhaps these measures are helping. There are many more theories going around, but for now, what we know is that the onslaught of sick patients has not come. We have been waiting, but the COVID ward remains empty.
This is incredibly good news, albeit hard to believe. Could it be true that African countries may truly avoid the mass pandemic and casualties that Western countries around the globe have faced? We hope and pray this continent might escape what others have had to experience.
So, to answer the question regarding COVID, things are going alright so far.
Answering this questions for ourselves is a little harder. How're we doing? In the words of Ross from Friends "I'm fine!" (insert high squeaky voice that is not so convincing...).
We are doing ok. I mean, really, we are healthy and well-fed. The kids are doing well with their schooling, and Jesh's load at the hospital has lessened as the borders to neighbouring countries have been closed, keeping patient numbers lower then usual. We have access to more home activity options then ever before as the internet floods our feeds with fun ideas. We have been more connected then ever with friends and family back home, thanks to the open schedules and a renewed intentionality to stay in touch.
But similar to what I hear reflected in status updates and phone calls and emails right now, we are also not ok. Correction: I'm ok, but not. Along with everyone else, our life had taken on major elements of uncertainty. I opened my day planner the other day and the blank pages were a reminder of how the summer is just not going to look like we had envisioned. For the time being, the coffee dates and social events and speaking engagements are all up in the air, and that's a definite disappointment.
At the top of the list was the need for a solid and reliable plan. The truth is, the certainty of our plans and future is really hard for me to let go. I want that control back, however false it may have been. I don't like the constant shifting that feels like sand being pulled from under my feet with the latest wave of change.
In all the changes happening around the world, I find my feelings changing faster then I can keep up with (my husband can attest to this!). How fickle they are, and yet how quickly they can dictate my reality.
It's interesting to me that at this same time I am reading a book aptly titled "Telling Yourself the Truth." The authors make the powerful statement that feelings are caused by what we tell ourselves about our circumstances. They say "what you think and believe determines how you feel and what you do." Or in the words found in Proverbs, "As a man thinks in his heart, so is he."
What am I telling myself these days? All the things I need in order to be ok? Do I really NEED a reliable plan? It's not bad to have one. But convincing myself that is what I need ties my feeling happy to having that plan.
As I practice "taking every thought captive" (1 Corinthians 10:5), I find myself realizing that I really AM ok. I don't always feel like my circumstances are ideal, or the way I had envisioned or hoped they would be. But my current circumstances are not terrible...they are just not going to look as I had planned. And that really isn't the worst thing ever.
At the end of the day, I want to instead "give thanks in ALL circumstances"; even when things don't go as planned.
By Julie
P.S. Even just during the time it has taken to get these words written out, we have had our tickets changed and/or cancelled 5 times!
To date, we have 'plans' to return June 1 for quarantine, then will spend time in Ontario and BC, hopefully with a run into AB and SK in the months that follow. We will keep you posted in this ever-changing itinerary, but hope to catch many of you as safety and social distancing allows!
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